Tuesday, August 5, 2014

P-Day #3

¡Hola por México!
   This week has been such a roller coaster! Not the fun one though. Wednesday... rained like no other! I was in the middle of a lesson with one of our investigators, Josue, and it started pouring rain and hailing for absolutely no reason whatsoever! Luckily, we were inside. When the lesson was over, I had dinner. We sprinted to the commodore (cafeteria), from there it started pouring and hailing even harder. The streets were so flooded we couldn´t even see the streets. We took our shoes off so they wouldn´t get ruined. Right after dinner, we had to go to TALL (technologically advanced language... something else that starts with a L. Its the church´s language help site). So we sprinted to the TALL labs, but it was so flooded I couldn´t see where the extremely slippery paint was... I´m guessing you know where this is headed. I slipped in the flooded street and my TALL books went flying everywhere and are now super water damaged. I got a rip in my green and polka dot skirt and scrapped up my ankle so it was all bloody. When we finally got there, Hma Bittle wanted to go back in the rain to look for the other Hmas. So we went back outside, running in the rain. It was actually kinda fun though... except for being soaking wet, cold, and all bloody with a hole in my skirt. Besides that.

   *Please include the next entire 2 paragraphs in the blogs and emails. Its a bit on the personal side but I think its all really important for the ending*

    Friday.... Friday just was not my day. My morning teacher, Hermano Soto, decided to have practice by giving a lesson all in spanish without any preparation. It was only like 10-15 minutes to another companionship but still. Ya... it didn´t go very well. Apparently, I play with my hands alot when I´m nervous. Like I twist them, bend them, crack them, sometimes all at the same time (yes I know, not very good for my fingers), Hmna Bittle says I do it all the time. Anyways, spanish words not coming to my head and I was super shaky and twisting my fingers. Hmna Bittle still doesn´t know very much spanish so she wasn´t much help. Then we switched and they did super good... of course. And one was the district leader who is good at like everything. I eventually shook it off. In the afternoon, my afternoon teacher, Hmno Tapía, decided to pretend to be an investigator to have us practice and to see how we are progressing. We did not have a whole lot of time to prepare. Hermana Bittle still needs to write out a script word for word what she is going to say. He had us go first. I didn´t want to go first and I didn´t think we were ready but we went anyway. We were going to teach him the restoration so I memorized James 1:5 in spanish. After we asked him about his family and establishing our cause and prayer and such, Hmna Bittle started her thing then she looked at me and immediately, all the spanish left. I haven´t had to use a script this entire week so I didn´t think I would need to write one. I was super studdery, shaky, twitchy... it wasn´t pretty. Pretty sure I almost broke my fingers. Hmna Bittle only wrote her script for her parts and couldn´t really help me so I was on my own.  Eventually, it was my turn to talk about José Smith. I tried to recite Santiago 1:5 (James 1:5) and just couldn´t do it. I tried so hard to remember and it just didn´t come to me. We always say a prayer before a lesson and ask for the Spirit and the gift of tongues but it just didn´t come to me that day. I literally started a panic attack. Hermana Bittle literally looked directly at my teacher and said "pause" then looked at me, told me just to read it. So I read it directly out of the scriptures and looked at her and said "I can´t do this. You talk and I´m going to breathe. We ended up going 10 minutes over and since we had dinner afterwards, we just talked to my teacher for a little bit. I had a panic attack in the middle of the lesson. My heart was still beating super fast and I was all antsy well through and after dinner (even after going to the Nutella bar!) I don´t know why I panicked. The "investigator" was my teacher. I know he´s not going to think any less of me. I know he isn´t there to judge me. Yet, I still freaked. Maybe it started in the first lesson, I have no idea.

        I woke up on Saturday with my knuckles all red and bruised. We have gym time after breakfast I decided and told them  that we were going to the track. They could walk it but I needed to run. I still felt anxious. I did one lap and had a hard time breathing. (We are really high up in altitude) I thought I could run though it and tried it. Ya... that didn´t work very well. I ran 4 laps and then until I got to the other Hermanas then walked because I was wheezing. Yet again... back to square one. It was just frustrating because running is my thing. Running has always been what I have been able to do and its what I´m good at. I had the spiritual thought in the beginning of class. I shared what happened to me the day previous and John 14:18 and 26. (18-I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you.  26-But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.)  Turns out, thats what a lot of people used in their lessons that day. Every week, we have a little interview with the sister trainers to see how we are doing and blah blah blah. I told the one I was with about my little panic disorder thing and about what happened. So it felt kinda good to talk about it but I´m still not very good at talking about my emotions. Sundays are always good though! We have meetings and lessons all day but it was still super good. In México, instead of fasting from dinner to dinner, they fast from Lunch to Lunch... it was sssooo hard! I pretty much understood what most of them were saying in their testimonies which is always good! We had a devotional by someone who works in the Provo MTC and he also helped make Preach My Gospel! It was so cool to learn how it was made! It was really long though. We had Sunday school by Octaviano Toranio or something like that. He works here and was part of the 70 awhile ago. One thing we talked about in Relief Society was able to have true JOY, you need to love Jesus, Others, Yourself which is a cool way to think about it. Apparently, some of the elders fasted to watch the movie The Testaments for the movie... and then we watched it! It is by far the best church movie I have seen here! It is so awesome! There was a lot of talk about priesthood blessings too. I thought if I ever had another panic attack I would ask for one. I remembered in my patriarchal blessing says specifically not to be afraid to ask for one and to rely on priesthood holders a lot. Yesterday, I finally built up the courage to ask my district leader, Elder Watkins, to give me one. Apparently since I have been here, I have talked in my sleep a lot and I wake up all the time. Maybe I was talking in my sleep like David use to walk in his sleep when he was stressed. My panic is all subconscious though so I have no idea when its going to happen or why. I thought and prayed about and asked him for a blessing. I figured, it wouldn´t hurt to have one even if I didn´t need one. It was really hard to ask though because Im not very good at asking for help. It was needed though! It answered so many of my questions and I could tell he was trying so hard to listen to the Spirit for guidance! All 8 of the elders helped so their hands were really heavy but it was so cool to have them all there!

    Today was awesome! We finally went to the temple!!! I loved it there so much! Im glad we took a bus there... México City is extremely sketchy and scarey. The drivers are nuts! I´m just about out of time but I love you so much! I found 2 people I worked in the temple with here. I met Hermana Poludo, but she was in a wheel chair and you will never guess why! Its from praying too much... literally. We pray like 20 times a day and its from her kneeling down too much and getting up that the muscle and ligaments started to pull away from her knee. I also found Ana Ioane from Oceanside. And an Elder Hurst... it was weird. Everyone in my district just about hates me because I have gotten 3 packages and 4 letters within 3 weeks (tell Sis. Hurst I say thanks! I cant figure out how the use the at sign here or else I would of emailed her) Yet again, you will get more mail for pictures. Love you all so much!
-Hermana Rebekah Williams

email to Daddy:
Half way done!!!!!!!! They days are extremely long but the weeks go by so fast!! Jake was right, they have the best chocolate milk ever here! My stomache doesnt really like it a whole lot though. I´m technically out of time but my companion is still on so why not talk to my daddy! I love you so much! Emailing is so bittersweet! I love emailing home but it always makes me sad! Everyone in my district just about hates me because of all the mail I get but hey! Its not my fault Im so loved! I cant figure out how to use the at sign to send an email so I can only reply to them. She just about done so give everyone my love and tell them I say hi! Fritz too!
-Hermana Rebekah Williams
P.S tell the boys to check their email!

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